In March, Picador published a volume of essays titled “Selfish, Shallow & Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids.” Because my favorite author, Pam Houston, was among those sixteen, I waited for the book with breath bated. Until very recently, I’d been among that selfish, shallow, and self-absorbed crew, after all: childless by choice. Child-free, say those who think the word childless implies a lack of something they don’t believe they needed in the first place. I get these people. But I’m no longer one of them.
I was eight months pregnant when the book dropped, eager to read it from cover to cover, and… I haven’t managed to open it (or almost any book at all, if you don’t count Are You My Mother? or Goodnight Moon) since the day my daughter was born. That was almost three months ago. While I have managed to post a couple of times to my personal blog, The Girl Behind the Red Door, my writing life has otherwise dwindled to quick-and-dirty scribbles in a moleskin beside my bed. Bleary-eyed and distracted, these scribblings are barely legible the next day, but they are what I have now. I cling to them. After all, having a baby didn’t actually make me any less selfish, shallow, or self-absorbed than I was before. It’s just that my daughter’s life-or-death needs–which, thankfully, include playing and intellectual stimulation to build her little mind–require me to put on a more selfless face and show up, even when I would rather have my nose deep in a book, or my hands rattling across a keyboard.
Originally, I’d hoped to keep up the pace here at Postmasters. How hard could it be? pre-motherhood me thought to herself, as she sipped a cup of hot tea (still hot!) and casually flipped the pages of the current New Yorker, debating whether to take a leisurely shower and give herself a pedicure instead. Turns out, very. Especially when both co-hosts decide to have babies just five months apart.
That’s right, here at The Postmasters Podcast, 2015 is the Year of the Baby. Which is why you may have noticed us go to radio silence this month. Our intent is to continue with the podcast, but we’ll be dropping down to quarterly episodes in the immediate future. Our priority will continue to be bringing you, dear listeners and readers, fun, helpful, inspiring interviews with authors of every genre and at every level of personal success. (And don’t be surprised if one of our next interviews concerns strategies for maintaining a fruitful writing life as a parent, because lord, I could use the help!)
We wish you a wonderful summer! You’ll hear from us soon.
Audrey Camp & Lacy Mayberry